Psychomania Slime Babes and a Bone Deth Weekend

A final slice of slime on toast in Texas

26 Oct 2014

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Story and captions by Sean Burns Photos by Leo Furmansky

Bone Dead Dad’s, or more accurately… Bone Dad's, Bone Babes, and Bone Heads were all together for Texas Toast 2014 weekend.

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Bone Babes on sale, only to sell the bone. Rachel and Kitty pre Slime Mania Boogers. 

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Bone Babe and Psychomania Slime Babe Card Girl "Chelsea Bone" ringing in the rounds. 

The kick off party was meant to be a way to start the weekend off with a bang. For those who are unmotivated, we hope that we made you horny, or entertained at the least. The lack of absurd and strange behavior within BMX in the last 5 years has left a lot of us wondering. What happened to Marvin Lotterelle drunk and tossing midgets and Sandy Carson with kizzy wigs on? That might be a generation gone amongst all the professionalism developed in the sport the last few years. Exactly a reason why we decided to share our own perverted weirdness with the bmx community. As well we are very supportive of Odyssey for throwing such a rad event to show that BMX is still thriving from the roots up. Either way, this was one hell of a weirdo weekend. Especially behind the eyes of Bone Deth at Texas Toast.Toast Davis, Bread Crummings.

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The only fakie footplant performed all weekend, Dirt Ron's fake foot took him fakie over the hubble bubble. 

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Kristi and Kassy laying down the butt cheeks with that slime tease to please the crowd. 

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Hot and heavy in the slime bed. Kassy has a "rough in bed" mentality so she took the win in round 2.

Whatever happened to Marvin Lotterelle drunk and tossing midgets and Sandy Carson with kizzy wigs on?

The Psychomania Slime Babes party was exactly what we hoped for. Aside from one of the security guard's that helped us out, get nailed in the head with who knows what. The process of putting on an event like this is sort of a head ache. First of all, we wanted the girls invitation only that way we could plan out a show. Now, to begin finding girls who are actually interested in wrestling other girls… in mucky, stinky, cheeto slime.. in front of a BMX crowd… is pretty hot damn difficult. Arranging it ahead of time is not even the hard part. We had about thirty to forty different contestants with in two months. Every three days a girl would change her mind and drop out of the slime-o-rama. It got to the point that three days before we only had three girls when we needed eight. Eight solid girls were selected basically the day of the event or prior that week. Nightmare on Bone Babe management street.

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Between cooking and mixing slime ingredients, Jay wilson 360'd the Hango gap troll doll style. 

Before the event started, we had all of these girls in one room. Most likely staring each other down and sizing each other up. The nervousness and intensity that was occurring in the dressing room was heavy. Yet in the end run, all the girls ended up cleaning each other in a small bath tub in the back room with only a few small buckets of water. At the end of the night when I was handing over prize money to the first and second place Bone Babes as they were washing each other nude in a small green slime tub, Brian Tunney walked in. I left to give the girls privacy and well, Tunney stayed. And from what I learned he hung around to take some touristy photo's with the Bone Babe finalist's of Psychomania Slime Babes.

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Meanwhile, the riding side of Toast weekend for Bone Deth was quite different from everyone else's. None of our guy's were in the actual contest, yet Colt Fake had one of the best runs of the whole event. Rebel running after banned buddy Trey Jones's run, Colt fired out three moves that weren't seen all weekend. It seemed to be the highlight of eccentric reactions. Feeble grinding the giant container placed next to the ramps that was full of Mongoose completes? I'm not sure if Nuno and Bauer were too happy about that but hey, it is a street contest right? Anything goes! Between the rest of the deadman team, everyone had moves that hadn't been done on the course all weekend. Either we are a bunch of freestyle weirdos or we are stuck in 1998. Perhaps a little bit of both. A major highlight for us was seeing Albie Bennett work himself as Breast Tester. A more mature looking woman cleaning up trash at texas toast had some out of the norm cleavage. Albie straight up walked up to her and said "Hey are those real!?" She replied "Yeah you want to feel them!?" That is the norm for Albie. Especially being the horniest guy on Bone Deth. Yet for a lot of other BMXer's at this day in age, that is absurd. Never mind his pristine sonic hedge hog hair in which attracts females like frogs on bugs.

Every three days a girl would change her mind and drop out of the slime-o-rama.

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Fabian and Colt Fake, Florida fried and wide eyed for blind sighting all night long. 

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The Hard Dads initiating the night with a set sang and played in adult diapers.

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The very last obstacle ridden during Texas Toast all weekend and only caveman that appeared was Robbie Nelson's  Toast Davis Bread Ninja off the Odyssey Chunk. 

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Dean Dickinson raises salute to the foot job, foot job a green bean tranny.

The major boner for us though was seeing Bone Deth dead boy flow rider Robbie Nelson get the last scratch in at Toast. A move not done all weekend on any obstacles, Robbie did it on the biggest obstacle there. A caveman ninja drop from the Odyssey Toast into the toaster landing. After that Nuno had the whole course wrapped up. Thanks Nuno and Bauer and everyone at Odyssey for involving us and throwing one of hell of an event. Cheers and stay gold, 100 million golden breast testers - Burns

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Oppo tooth hang to over bike slide. Jay Wilson cramps the sprocket chain and crank between the rails.

Either we are a bunch of freestyle weirdos or we are stuck in 1998. Perhaps a little bit of both.

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Robbie Nelson, picking trouble with Psycho Suze moments before he was tossed into booger land.

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Psycho Suze takes no crap, Robbie Nelson brought on the heckle until Suze got her way with him. 

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